Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize