I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
