plz talk dirty to me
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
