you guys were way drunker than both of me
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize