my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
