after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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