Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
