Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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