she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
