Welp...herpes.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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