cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
