R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
