I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i drank out of a bidet.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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