STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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