I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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