you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
