It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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