it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
