Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Randomize