I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
