is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize