You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
