I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
its not stalking. its research.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
