walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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