Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I love having hate sex.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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