The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
