dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize