have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
