yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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