She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
