When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
