He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
