yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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