I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
