sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
love makes seman taste better
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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