He kissed a someone with a penis
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
