It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize