On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
