we have officially lost it.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
