do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
