I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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