i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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