Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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