I just threw up on my dentist
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
