Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
