KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
