my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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