You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
