Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
