My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
