I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
