I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
