my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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