Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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