i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
