you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
