i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
