You're so nebulous sometimes
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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