Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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