"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Blow job season was short but glorious.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
