i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
