ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
