You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
