Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
