So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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