What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
