I'm so fucking centered right now
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
