So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
