Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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