ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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