i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I have post one night stand depression
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