Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
